I am delighted to be here with you this evening, because after listening to George H. W. Bush|George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like.

… we're going to tell how the cow ate the cabbage.

Poor George, he can't help it — he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

The regular Democratic Party and its organization was run by men who looked on women as little more than machine parts.

He was born on third base and thought he hit a triple. [about George H. W. Bush|George Bush, Sr.]

I have seen the very bottom of life: I was so afraid I wouldn’t be funny anymore. I just knew that I would lose my zaniness and my sense of humor. But I didn’t. Recovery turned out to be a wonderful thing.

The public does not like you to mislead or represent yourself to be something you're not. And the other thing that the public really does like is the self-examination to say, you know, I'm not perfect. I'm just like you. They don't ask their public officials to be perfect. They just ask them to be smart, truthful, honest, and show a modicum of good sense.

Oh, I would probably have raised more hell.