Disneyworld…is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin's, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan's. It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
"Suspended Animation", Tissues for Men (1980)
Does not even the most sexually democratic of us, among which number I unquestionably count myself, not choke back the tiniest sob at the sight of poor old Denis Thatcher|Denis stumbling along behind, struggling pitifully to hold his trilby on, as the PM strides across Goose Green|Goose Green with the wind managing only to make her hair look more Medusan, and the very mines praying she will not crush them under-heel?
"Subordinate Claus", Bumf (1984)
A long, soft sigh, one of those very Italian sighs that express so much, that say "Ah, signor, if only this world were an ideal world, what would I not give to be able to do as you ask, we should sit together in the Tuscan sunshine, you and I, just two men together, and we should drink a bottle of the good red wine, and we should sing, ah, how we should sing."
"Let Us Now Phone Famous Men"
The word "souvenir" has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
"And Though They Do Their Best To Bring…"
Since Switzerland has nothing else to identify it…and since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
"And Though They Do Their Best To Bring…"
Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a Wirtschaftswunder, which can be briefly translated as "The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one."
"All You Need To Know About Europe", Germany
Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
"All You Need To Know About Europe", Netherlands
Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of the country is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers.
"All You Need To Know About Europe", Netherlands
I rang room service, and asked for a bottle of Perrier, because while I was asleep someone had come in and carpeted my throat.
"The Night We Went To Epernay By Way Of Tours-sur-Marne"
Alan Coren was an
EnglishThe English are a nation and ethnic group native to England, who speak English. The English identity is of early mediaeval origin, when they were known in Old English as the Anglecynn. England is now a country of the United Kingdom, and the majority of English people in England are British Citizens...
humorist,
writerA writer is a person who produces literature, such as novels, short stories, plays, screenplays, poetry, or other literary art. Skilled writers are able to use language to portray ideas and images....
and
satiristSatire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement...
who was well known as a regular panellist on the
BBCThe British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...
radioRadio is the transmission of signals through free space by modulation of electromagnetic waves with frequencies below those of visible light. Electromagnetic radiation travels by means of oscillating electromagnetic fields that pass through the air and the vacuum of space...
quizA quiz is a form of game or mind sport in which the players attempt to answer questions correctly. In some countries, a quiz is also a brief assessment used in education and similar fields to measure growth in knowledge, abilities, and/or skills.Quizzes are usually scored in points and many...
The News QuizThe News Quiz is a topical panel game broadcast on British radio BBC Radio 4.-History:It was first broadcast in 1977 with Barry Norman as chairman. Subsequently it was chaired by Simon Hoggart, Barry Took , and then again by Simon Hoggart until March 2006. Hoggart was replaced by Sandi Toksvig in...
and a team captain on BBC television's Call My Bluff. Coren was also a journalist, and for nine years was the editor of
PunchPunch, or the London Charivari was a British weekly magazine of humour and satire established in 1841 by Henry Mayhew and engraver Ebenezer Landells. Historically, it was most influential in the 1840s and 50s, when it helped to coin the term "cartoon" in its modern sense as a humorous illustration...
magazine.
Early life
Alan Coren was born in
SouthgateSouthgate is an area of north London, England, primarily within the London Borough of Enfield, although parts of its western fringes lie within the London Borough of Barnet. It is located around north of Charing Cross. The name is derived from being the south gate to Enfield Chase...
, North
LondonLondon is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...
in 1938, the son of a plumber and a hairdresser.
Education
Coren was educated at
East Barnet Grammar SchoolEast Barnet School is a comprehensive school at Chestnut Grove in East Barnet, London.-Status:It has Technology College status and has a second specialism as a Leadership Partner School; is a Science Demonstration School and part of Project Faraday ; and is a 'Building Schools for the Future'...
, followed by
Wadham CollegeWadham College is one of the constituent colleges of the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom, located at the southern end of Parks Road in central Oxford. It was founded by Nicholas and Dorothy Wadham, wealthy Somerset landowners, during the reign of King James I...
at the
University of OxfordThe University of Oxford is a university located in Oxford, United Kingdom. It is the second-oldest surviving university in the world and the oldest in the English-speaking world. Although its exact date of foundation is unclear, there is evidence of teaching as far back as 1096...
to which he gained a scholarship, and where he got a
FirstThe British undergraduate degree classification system is a grading scheme for undergraduate degrees in the United Kingdom...
in
EnglishEnglish is a West Germanic language that arose in the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of England and spread into what was to become south-east Scotland under the influence of the Anglian medieval kingdom of Northumbria...
in 1960. After taking a
Master's degreeA master's is an academic degree granted to individuals who have undergone study demonstrating a mastery or high-order overview of a specific field of study or area of professional practice...
he studied for a
doctorateA doctorate is an academic degree or professional degree that in most countries refers to a class of degrees which qualify the holder to teach in a specific field, A doctorate is an academic degree or professional degree that in most countries refers to a class of degrees which qualify the holder...
in
modern American literatureAmerican literature is the written or literary work produced in the area of the United States and its preceding colonies. For more specific discussions of poetry and theater, see Poetry of the United States and Theater in the United States. During its early history, America was a series of British...
at
YaleYale University is a private, Ivy League university located in New Haven, Connecticut, United States. Founded in 1701 in the Colony of Connecticut, the university is the third-oldest institution of higher education in the United States...
and the
University of California, BerkeleyThe University of California, Berkeley , is a teaching and research university established in 1868 and located in Berkeley, California, USA...
.
Life and career
Coren considered an
academicAcademia is the community of students and scholars engaged in higher education and research.-Etymology:The word comes from the akademeia in ancient Greece. Outside the city walls of Athens, the gymnasium was made famous by Plato as a center of learning...
career but decided instead to become a writer and journalist. He began this career by selling articles to
PunchPunch, or the London Charivari was a British weekly magazine of humour and satire established in 1841 by Henry Mayhew and engraver Ebenezer Landells. Historically, it was most influential in the 1840s and 50s, when it helped to coin the term "cartoon" in its modern sense as a humorous illustration...
and was later offered a full-time job there. At this time he also wrote for
The New YorkerThe New Yorker is an American magazine of reportage, commentary, criticism, essays, fiction, satire, cartoons and poetry published by Condé Nast...
.
In 1966, he became Punchs literary editor, and went on to become deputy editor in 1969 and editor in 1978. He remained as editor until 1987 when the circulation began to decline. Unsurprisingly, during the week in which he took over the editorship, the Jewish Chronicle published a profile of him. His response was to rush around the office, waving a copy of the relevant edition, saying: "This is ridiculous - I haven't been Jewish for years!"
From 1971 to 1978, Coren wrote a television review column for The Times and from 1972 to 1976 a humour column for the
Daily MailThe Daily Mail is a British daily middle-market tabloid newspaper owned by the Daily Mail and General Trust. First published in 1896 by Lord Northcliffe, it is the United Kingdom's second biggest-selling daily newspaper after The Sun. Its sister paper The Mail on Sunday was launched in 1982...
. In 1973 Coren became the
Rector of the University of St AndrewsThe Lord Rector of the University of St Andrews is a university official chosen every three years by the students of the University of St Andrews...
, after
John CleeseJohn Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, writer, and film producer. He achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and as a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report...
, an honorary position for that university in
St AndrewsSt Andrews is a university town and former royal burgh on the east coast of Fife in Scotland. The town is named after Saint Andrew the Apostle.St Andrews has a population of 16,680, making this the fifth largest settlement in Fife....
,
FifeFife is a council area and former county of Scotland. It is situated between the Firth of Tay and the Firth of Forth, with inland boundaries to Perth and Kinross and Clackmannanshire...
on the East coast of Scotland. He held the position until 1976.
When Coren left Punch in 1987 he became editor of The Listener, continuing in that role until 1989. From 1984 Coren worked as a television critic for the
Mail on SundayThe Daily Mail is a British daily middle-market tabloid newspaper owned by the Daily Mail and General Trust. First published in 1896 by Lord Northcliffe, it is the United Kingdom's second biggest-selling daily newspaper after The Sun. Its sister paper The Mail on Sunday was launched in 1982...
until he moved as a humorous columnist to the Sunday Express, which he left in 1996.
Known (if only to himself) as the "Sage of
CricklewoodCricklewood is a district of North London, England whose northeastern part is in the London Borough of Barnet, western part is the London Borough of Brent and southeastern part is in London Borough of Camden.-History:...
", where he lived, his columns always contained humour and criticism. From 1975 to 1982 Coren wrote comic essays, such as Golfing for Cats and The Cricklewood Diet and from 1976 to 1983 wrote the Arthur series of children's books. In 1989 he started a column in
The TimesThe Times is a British daily national newspaper, first published in London in 1785 under the title The Daily Universal Register . The Times and its sister paper The Sunday Times are published by Times Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary since 1981 of News International...
, which he continued for the rest of his life.
Coren began his broadcasting career in 1977, while writing for
The ObserverThe Observer is a British newspaper, published on Sundays. In the same place on the political spectrum as its daily sister paper The Guardian, which acquired it in 1993, it takes a liberal or social democratic line on most issues. It is the world's oldest Sunday newspaper.-Origins:The first issue,...
,
TatlerTatler has been the name of several British journals and magazines, each of which has viewed itself as the successor of the original literary and society journal founded by Richard Steele in 1709. The current incarnation, founded in 1901, is a glossy magazine published by Condé Nast Publications...
and The Times. He was invited to be one of the regular panellists on
BBC Radio 4BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...
's new
satiricalSatire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement...
quiz show,
The News QuizThe News Quiz is a topical panel game broadcast on British radio BBC Radio 4.-History:It was first broadcast in 1977 with Barry Norman as chairman. Subsequently it was chaired by Simon Hoggart, Barry Took , and then again by Simon Hoggart until March 2006. Hoggart was replaced by Sandi Toksvig in...
. In 1978 he wrote
The LosersThe Losers is a British sitcom that aired on ITV in 1978. Written by Alan Coren, it stars Leonard Rossiter and Alfred Molina. The Losers was made for ITV by ATV and was produced and directed by Joe McGrath....
, an unsuccessful
sitcomA situation comedy, often shortened to sitcom, is a genre of comedy that features characters sharing the same common environment, such as a home or workplace, accompanied with jokes as part of the dialogue...
about a
wrestlingWrestling is a form of grappling type techniques such as clinch fighting, throws and takedowns, joint locks, pins and other grappling holds. A wrestling bout is a physical competition, between two competitors or sparring partners, who attempt to gain and maintain a superior position...
promoterAn entertainment promoter i.e. music, wrestling, boxing etc is a person or company in the business of marketing and promoting live events such as concerts/gigs, boxing matches, sports entertainment , festivals, raves, and nightclubs.- Business model :Promoters are typically hired as independent...
starring
Leonard RossiterLeonard Rossiter was an English actor known for his roles as Rupert Rigsby, in the British comedy television series Rising Damp , and Reginald Iolanthe Perrin, in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin...
and
Alfred MolinaAlfred Molina is a British-born American actor. He first came to public attention in the UK for his supporting role in the 1987 film Prick Up Your Ears...
. He continued on The News Quiz until the year he died. From 1996 to 2005 he was also one of two team captains on the UK panel gameCall My Bluff.
Coren had published about twenty books during his life, many of which were collections of his newspaper columns. One of his most successful, The Collected Bulletins of Idi Amin (a collection of his Punch articles about
AminIdi Amin Dada was a military leader and President of Uganda from 1971 to 1979. Amin joined the British colonial regiment, the King's African Rifles in 1946. Eventually he held the rank of Major General in the post-colonial Ugandan Army and became its Commander before seizing power in the military...
) was rejected for publication in the
United StatesThe United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
on the grounds of racial sensitivity. These Bulletins were later made into a comedy album,
The Collected Broadcasts of Idi AminThe Collected Broadcasts of Idi Amin is a British comedy album parodying Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, released in 1975 on Transatlantic Records. It was performed by John Bird and written by Alan Coren, based on columns he wrote for Punch magazine....
with the actor
John BirdJohn Bird is an English satirist, actor and comedian.-Early life:Born in Bulwell, Nottingham, England, and educated at High Pavement Grammar School, Nottingham, Bird briefly joined the Socialist Party of Great Britain, while still at school...
. After the Tanzanian capture of Kampala in 1979 the American journalist Art Barrett discovered a copy of Coren's book on Idi Amin's bedside table.
Coren's other books include The Dog It Was That Died (1965), The Sanity Inspector (1974), All Except The Bastard (1978), The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions (1978), Rhinestone as Big as the Ritz (1979), Tissues for Men (1981), Bumf (1984), Seems Like Old Times: a Year in the Life of Alan Coren (1989), More Like Old Times (1990), A Year in Cricklewood (1991), Toujours Cricklewood? (1993), Alan Coren's Sunday Best (1993), A Bit on the Side (1995), Alan Coren Omnibus (1996), The Cricklewood Dome (1998), The Cricklewood Tapestry (2002) and Waiting for Jeffrey (2002). Coren's final book, 69 For One, was published late in 2007.
Later years
In May 2006, Coren was bitten by an
insectInsects are a class of living creatures within the arthropods that have a chitinous exoskeleton, a three-part body , three pairs of jointed legs, compound eyes, and two antennae...
that gave him
septicaemiaSepsis is a potentially deadly medical condition that is characterized by a whole-body inflammatory state and the presence of a known or suspected infection. The body may develop this inflammatory response by the immune system to microbes in the blood, urine, lungs, skin, or other tissues...
which led to his developing
necrotising fasciitisNecrotizing fasciitis , commonly known as flesh-eating disease or Flesh-eating bacteria syndrome, is a rare infection of the deeper layers of skin and subcutaneous tissues, easily spreading across the fascial plane within the subcutaneous tissue.Necrotizing fasciitis is a quickly progressing and...
.
He died from
cancerCancer , known medically as a malignant neoplasm, is a large group of different diseases, all involving unregulated cell growth. In cancer, cells divide and grow uncontrollably, forming malignant tumors, and invade nearby parts of the body. The cancer may also spread to more distant parts of the...
in 2007 at his home in
North LondonNorth London is the northern part of London, England. It is an imprecise description and the area it covers is defined differently for a range of purposes. Common to these definitions is that it includes districts located north of the River Thames and is used in comparison with South...
. Survived by his wife Anne (née Kasriel), whom he married in 1963, and their two children,
GilesGiles Coren is a British food critic, television presenter and novelist. He is known for expressing controversial opinions, and for his television appearances with the comedian Sue Perkins.-Personal:...
and
VictoriaVictoria Elizabeth Coren is a British writer, presenter and champion poker player. Coren writes weekly columns for The Observer and The Guardian newspapers and hosts the BBC Four television quiz show Only Connect....
, who are both
journalistA journalist collects and distributes news and other information. A journalist's work is referred to as journalism.A reporter is a type of journalist who researchs, writes, and reports on information to be presented in mass media, including print media , electronic media , and digital media A...
s, he was buried in
Hampstead CemeteryHampstead Cemetery is a historic cemetery in West Hampstead, London, located at the upper extremity of the NW6 district. Despite the name, the cemetery is three-quarters of a mile from Hampstead Village, and bears a different postcode...
. An anthology of his writings, called The Essential Alan Coren - Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks and edited by his children, was published on 2 October 2008.
External links
- Alan Coren at The Times
The Times is a British daily national newspaper, first published in London in 1785 under the title The Daily Universal Register . The Times and its sister paper The Sunday Times are published by Times Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary since 1981 of News International...