directed by Steve Pink
and written by Adam Cooper
, Bill Collage, and Mark Perez. The main plot centers around a group of would-be college freshmen
who, after being rejected from all the colleges and universities
to which they had applied, proceed to create their own "college".
Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long
) is a persuasive high-school senior who, among other pranks, creates fake IDs.
This place is awesome, now I can finally get hepatitis.
Oh yeah, I do actually. I carry around a list with me at all times of abandoned buildings for fake colleges.
I don't want to be alone in here when the walls start to bleed.
[looking at the mascot] A sandwich? Oh, you're the SHIT sandwiches!
You date Monica Morlan? I think about her while I masturbate.
(on the idea of South Harmon) Let's start this fake college. Then we'll go start a meth lab somewhere. It's a gateway crime. That's how these things start.
I hope you guys have hobo stab insurance.
[screams loudly and high-pitched] It would be really cool if you guys didn't tell anyone I scream like that.
[after being inducted into the brotherhood] Yes! Yes! I want it! I want everything you guys have! I want Lilac shirts! I want visors kinda tilted to the side with hair gel coming out of it! [points to Gwynn] I want to have sex with girls that look like this!