[trying to persuade Dottie Hinson not to quit the team] It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great.

[to the Peaches' homely chaperone] By the way, I loved Wicked Witch of the West|you in the Wizard of Oz.

[to an umpire] Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on?

[After the umpire throws him out for saying the above comment] I can't believe nobody ever called you that before!

[to Evelyn] Rogers Hornsby|Rogers Hornsby was my manager and he called me a talking pile of pig shit - and that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?

[Hitting balls from a pitching machine, half-drunk] Here's a job for you, Jimmy. Managing girl ball-players. Just go out there, wave your little hat around...but don't drink. [Hits a ball] Ah! Why would I wanna drink? I'm a goddamn Peach! [Hits another ball] Ah, double play! Now I'm hitting like a girl. But be nice to them, they're "good ball-players." [Hits a deep fly-ball] Ah! Catch that, blondie! Ha, ha!

Ball players?! I haven't got ball players, I've got girls! Girls are what you sleep with after the game, not what you coach during a game!

[resentfully explaining how her father introduces his two daughters] This is our daughter Dottie, and this is our other daughter...Dottie's sister.

They should've just had you and bought a dog!

Why do you have to be so good?