The Devil's Rejects Quotations

The Devil's Rejects is a 2005 film written and directed by Rob Zombie. The story is a followup to the previous film House of 1000 Corpses, that chronicles an unstable texas Sheriff hunting a family of psychotic killers who previously murdered his brother and numerous other innocents in a western themed thriller.

Sheriff John Quincy Wydell

Mr. Dobson? It's time to do what the good Lord would refer to as a "cleansing of the wicked", and what my brother George...God rest his soul, used to call a 100% Alabama ass-kicking.

Dying's not an option, now you stick that back in that gray matter of yours, and you make that stick, cause' any other thought's gonna get you cold slabed, toe tagged, and mailed home to your mama in a plastic bag, are we crystal?

Gentlemen, let's do what God made us to do!

[after Mother Firefly attempts to kill herself, but discovers there are no more bullets in the gun she tried to use] Looks like you're not getting off that easy. Huh, bitch?

As God is my witness, I have only just begun.

[after Mother Firefly taunts him about killing his brother] You listen to me, and you listen good! I am gonna kill every member of your family! I'm gonna hunt them down like the animals they are, and I'm gonna skin em' alive! They are going to feel the pain and suffering of every last victim! They're gonna crawl on on their hands and knees, and they're gonna beg me for mercy. But all I'm gonna have for them is pain! Pain and death!

Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aaron Presley in my presence again, I WILL KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!

I'm walking the line on this one, brother, I'm walking the line!

From the illusion lead me to truth. From darkness lead me to light. From death lead me to eternal life. [He nails Otis' hands into the arms of a chair] Hallelujah! Are you feeling it brother?!

[Talking to himself in mirror] You know I got to tell you, that's some catchphrase you got there, Devil's Rejects. What? You got something to say to me clown, huh. I bet you scare lots of folks, don't ya? Yeah, regular fuckin' killer. You want a piece of this motherfucker? You want a piece of this? Huh, what you got! What you got! Lord I am your arm of justice. Lord I am your arm of justice. Lord I am your arm of justice. Your righteous sword of vengeance. Let my blows be true.

Hey, you be careful, or maybe you'll get stepped on like a roach.

I've been looking for you clown.

FUCK GROUCHO!

Captain Spaulding

[After sex] You're giving a good riding tonight.

Do I stutter, bitch?

[While hijacking a car with a boy inside] What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? [Kid shakes his head "no"] Why? Don't we make ya laugh, aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer because I'm gonna be checking up on you and your mama. And if you don't have a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family.

Hey, if you got a problem with my timeframe, son. You'd best spit it out right now.

Well come on make your move Whitey! Two hits: I hit you and your dick hits the fuckin' dirt.

I could really go for some tooty fuckin' fruity.

Well if you let me finish, I was about to call you goddamned pig fucking, pussy piece of shit.

[Substituting marijuana for cocaine] Well, any port in a fucking storm.

[Confronted by Wydell] If you're gonna start the killing, you'd best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, cause I will come back and make you my bitch [Wydell shoots him]

[While Wydell talks about his dead brother during torture] Yeah I remember him. Stupid Fuck just like you. All I had to do was point him in a direction and there he went. Officer Wy-fuckin'-dell to the rescue.

Otis B. Driftwood

I am the Devil, and I am here to do the Devil's work.

Consider me fuckin' Willy fuckin' Wonka! This is my fucking chocolate factory! You got it? My factory!

Fuck you, will you just pay attention to the business at hand here?

Boy the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit. Cause it's definitely getting chiselled on your tombstone.

Stop? Bitch I have just started.

Ha, that's what they all say "Fuck you". Well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none. And it certainly doesn't make you a fuckin' hero!

You want to see what happens to heroes boy? You want to see bad ass motherfucker! I'll show ya badass!

[When violating a hostage]Give me some sugar, and make it sweet.

Hoss, I want you to pray to your God. I want you to pray that he comes to save you. I want lightning to come down and crash upon my fuckin' head!

[To Captain Spaulding and Baby]Forget it, there is no fuckin' ice cream in your fuckin' future. [Cut to Spaulding and Baby in the car with ice cream, Otis looks annoyed]

[To Charlie's top earning girl who also happens to be short] "Baby I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed."

"Hey I know what I know and I know i don't like that nut sac".

Baby

Daddy grab that bitch!

Trust me fella, that ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

Holy shit, check out that jacket.

Why would you want to kill me, I'm your only hope. My brother(Otis) is fuckin' crazy, you've seen him.

Stupid cunt, there aint any bullets in this gun. That's just fucking mind power.

[While Wydell tortures her, Spaulding and Otis) I can't fucking wait! You want it? Here it is, come and get it. COME ON!

[After Tiny kills Wydell and saves her] Tiny, Tiny you have to help daddy and Otis are still in the house.

[As Otis makes Gloria strip] Good job Roy, she has a tight little ass.

Dialogue

Candy: What you lookin' at?

Otis B. Driftwood: I'm lookin' at you, mama.

Candy: Yeah, you see something you like?

Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed.

Candy: Oh I don't disappoint.

Baby: [dancing in front of Otis and the hostages] Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at the these. [repeated]

Otis: Hoss, are you staring at my sister thinking bad thoughts?

Roy: No,

Otis: Well, why not- are you a faggot?

Roy: No.

Otis: Well, what are ya then? I mean you got this hot, young piece of ass shaking her shit in front of you and you're not getting any ideas. What do you call that?

Roy: I'm a married man.

Otis: Oh, a married fuckin' man. Hey, that's just great! Why don't we all give a big round of applause for the married man! [he and Baby clap and laugh]

Otis: Okay, mama, get up here.

Gloria: What?

Otis: Get on your feet. I want to know what's been keeping the married man in line all these years.

Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane.

Otis: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit, 'cause it's definitely gettin' chiseled on your tombstone.

Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.

Roy Sullivan: Would you say that again?

Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.

[mutual laughter]

Roy Sullivan: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?

Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

Captain Spaulding: I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.

[mutual laughter]

Susan: What's that about clown business?

[laughs nervously]

Captain Spaulding: [pause] Do I stutter, bitch?

Sheriff John Wydell: What's going on, shitheads?

Rondo: Sheriff....

Sheriff John Wydell: (hands Rondo a piece of paper) Here's a list of names I need you to run down for me.

Rondo:[Looks at the paper, and starts chuckling] That's some funny-ass names! Haha!

Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah, look who's fuckin' talkin' "Rondo". Just let me know if anything connects.

Billy Ray Snapper: I'm sure it will. Shit always floats our way, don't it...."Chief"?

Sheriff John Wydell: Well, if you keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'll catch it all....don't fuck this up assholes.

Rondo: Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road! Haha.

Charlie Altamont: Oh...yeah! Lord have mercy!! What a mornin'!! Clevon!!

Clevon: Yeah boss?

Charlie Altamont: You know why I come here to get these chickens?

Clevon: No boss.

Charlie Altamont: 'Cuz my brother makes the best fried chicken in the world!

Clevon: Is that right?

Charlie Altamont: (to Darrell) Yeah, good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' sir! How are ya!

Darrell: How're you all doin? G'morning.

Charlie Altamont: Good, good, good, whatcha got for me?

Darrell: We got these, uh, real cute barred rock chickens.

Charlie Altamont: Yeah! I see it!

Darrell: Some nice, long-legged Rhode Island Reds.

Charlie Altamont: RHODE ISLAND RED!! I like that, huh! I want a Rhode Island red for me, all right? Two of 'em.

Darrell: Rhode Island Red...two. (long pause, scratches his nose) Now ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya?

Charlie Altamont: (after a long pause) What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens?

Darrell: Well, I thought about fuckin' some chickens before, eh? If you want to have a good time and you need some pussy, you can (motions with his hands) cut that chicken's head off, stick yo' dick in the ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah".

Charlie Altamont: Are you saying that I would cut off a chicken's head, put my dick in it, fuck it...and go "Aah"? You accuse me of fucking a chicken, motherfucker?

Darrell: Nah, I ain't--I ain't callin' you a chicken fucker but...that boy over there looks se--sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken fucking.

Clevon: Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't--he called me a fucking chicken fucker!

Darrell: I didn't say--

Charlie Altamont: Go back and grab the fuckin' chickens, Clevon!! (to Darrell) Here, five.

Darrell: Appreciate it...thank y'all.

Clevon: Chickenf--He's a chicken fucker!!!

Charlie Altamont: It's all right. Put 'em back there. Next time we go someplace else.

Clevon: We ain't never buying chickens from him again, boss!!

Charlie Altamont: Yeah, I know.

Clevon: (yelling back to Darrell) You inbred! Inbred!!

[Otis and Baby invade a motel room, taking hostages]

Baby: Holy shit, check out that jacket.

Otis: What jacket?

Baby: On the TV.

Otis: Bitch fuck the TV!

Baby: Hey, fuck the TV? Fuck you!

Otis: Fuck you, will you just pay attention to the business at hand here!

Marty Walker: That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley

Sheriff John Wydell: What'd you say about the King?!?!?

:Marty Walker: I said he died three days before Grouch...
[Wydell grabs Walker]

Sheriff John Wydell: Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you!

[The rejects are being captured by Wydell]
[To Captain Spaulding]:Charlie Altamont: Business is business, baby.

Baby: You fucking asshole!

Sheriff John Wydell: She's right Charlie, you are an asshole. Why don't you get back on your fucking horse and ride.