Pee-wee Herman

• [as hotel desk clerk; in deep voice] Paging Mr. Herman! Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk!
• [falls off bike after attempting tricks] I meant to do that.
• Go ahead and scream your head off! We're MILES from where anyone can hear you!
• Is there something you can share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?!

Dialogue

Francis: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.

Pee-wee: Good for you and your father.

Francis: So guess what I want.

Pee-wee: A new brain!

Francis: No. Your bike!

Pee-wee: I wanna see Francis.

Butler: Francis is busy.

Pee-wee: Busy doin' what?

Butler: He's having his bath.

Pee-wee: Oh, really? Where are they hosin' him down?!

[Pee-wee confronts Francis in his large pool-like bath]

Pee-wee: Still wanna buy my bike, Francis?!

Francis: What would I do with that old relic?! I can have any bike in the world!

Pee-wee: AHA! You don't want it anymore, because you already have it! Tell me where it is before I lose patience with you, Francis!

[Pee-wee enters a noisy biker bar and tries to use the payphone but can't because of the noise]

Pee-wee: SHH!!!! I'm trying to use the phone!!

[one of the bikers puts the phone back on the cradle]

Biker 1: Did anybody tell you that this is the private club of the Satan's Helpers?

Pee-wee: Nobody hipped me to that, dude.

Biker 1: It's off limits!

Dottie: I was wondering if you would go someplace... with me.

Pee-wee: Like where?

Dottie: The drive-in.

Pee-wee: Look, Dottie, I like you. Like! I like you!

Dottie: That's the thing. I like you, too--

Pee-wee: [shouts] Dottie! [calm voice] There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

Dottie: I don't understand.

Pee-wee: You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

Pee-wee: Thanks for stopping. Some night, huh?

Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, on this same stretch of road, in the dense fog, just like this, I saw the worse accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building. And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning, WRECK, it looked like... THIS! [makes a hideously deformed face, causing Pee-wee to scream] Yes, sir. That was the worst accident I ever seen.

Large Marge: Be sure and tell 'em, Large Marge sent ya! HA HA HA HA HA!

Pee-wee: Jimmy, what is this? Too late! Chip?

Chip: Uh... looks like a pen.

Pee-wee: Exactly! I bought this pen one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I DON'T KNOW!

Biker #2: I say we kill him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!

Biker #3: I say we hang him, then we kill him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!

Biker #4: I say we stomp him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!

Biker #4: Then we tattoo him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!

Biker #4: Then we hang him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!!

Biker #4: And then we kill him!

Biker Gang: YEAH!!!

Pee-wee: [tries to throw his voice without moving his lips] I say we let him go.

Biker Gang: NO!!!

Biker Mama: [whistles] I say ya let ME have him first!

(the Biker Gang laughs)

Kevin: Well, is everything straightened out?

Jerry: We are ready whenever you are.

Kevin: Doesn't it look like I'm ready? [loudly] I am ALWAYS ready! I have BEEN ready since first call! I AM READY! ROLL!

Jerry: Quiet, please! This is a take. Roll, please.

Cameraman: Speed!

Kevin: ACTION!!!

Jerry: Action!

(last lines)

Pee-wee: Come on, Dottie. Let's go.

Dottie: Let's go? Don't you wanna see the rest of the movie?

Pee-wee: I don't have to see it, Dottie. I lived it.

Cast

• Paul Reubens - Pee-wee Herman
• Elizabeth Daily - Dottie
• Mark Holton - Francis Buxton
• Diane Salinger - Simone
• Judd Omen - Mickey
• Jason Hervey - Kevin Morton